Those that know me well know of the battles I have had with mental health. I have battled depression now for many years more than I can remeber which is a good thing I think as I don't really want to ponder on that. Thats not what I want to focus on what I want to focus on is His amazing power and love that can set the captives free. I just want to honour God for His love and care of me bringing me to a point where I could leave my past in the past forgive those who had hurt me and be able to forgive myself a big step as I had beaten myself self up over the years for my broken marriage and two hurting girls one a teenager and the other a pre teen. Both grown women with families of their own husbands and children. Thanks to my friend Alex I was blessed to go to Manifest Presence Conference in Auckland just a couple of weeks back. It was on the second day the speak Michael Maiden said for those who suffered disappointment and depression to stand up.He said one key for dealing with depression is forgiveness so I stood there going threw my list of people I had already forgive but I though hey just forgive them again, so there is my mum and dad, my ex the kids and Mark just incase but there I it came to me forgive yourself. So I said I forgive myself, I forgive myself over and over then all of a sudden it was like someone clicked their fingers over my head may it was God only he knows and the power of the Holy Spirit fell on me and I started moving forward and backwards upder the power of the Holy Spirit there was a couple of times I thought I was going to tip over backwards. This went on for some time but when I stopped I was free set free from things that have held me for years. I am currantly dropping my antid-depressants down to half. Next time I see my Doctor I will talk about coming of them, I'm thinking its been 16 years or more I've been on my medicatiom. I'm excited as I thought due to emotional breakdowns I might be on it for the rest of my life. I'm going to be free from those tablets very shortly can't wait.
My Blog
Testimony
By De O'Neil
Tagged: Stet, Free, Depression, forgiveness, Holy, Spirit, Freedom
Revelation on true repentance
I had a revelation last night about repentance true repentance. Been reading Bill Johnston book face to face with God if we love God like truly like passionately love Him and love being in His presence then we will not want to break that precious relationship so if we sin we repent from that place of love of Him and our connection to Him. I never saw repentance that way before. That is so cool I had to share this. I am at times a little late comer on things but I love learning something new.
Also I have started to seek God for visions, pictures I have had some pictures they are like a blink of an eye and gone I've not been able to hold them there in my mind. They don't happen very often so Bill was saying is there something in God you want then passionately go after it. For years I have longed to see and Angel just to lay eyes on one and admire God's handy work but this has alluded me but I will start seeking it and see where it takes me. God has blessed me with word pictures saying all the things that pop into my head. Last night was amazing time with God talking and thinking of my friends mum who had just died that day. Will not seeing it as it unfolded but knowing every word and emotion as they welcomed her home. I want share anymore than that cos it's for my friend. But knowing I'm blessed to imagine things how they would seen. Listen to this. I'm meeting Jesus in this beautiful field there is a stream and the water sound it music to a song I love to pray in tongues to and sing. I see Him standing there watching me a smile on his lips and laughter as I dance and around singing the song "show me your glory". He claps His hands it's like thunder all of a sudden all these amazing butterflies start flying around me. I have do much joy and love in that moment standing there with my Saviour. Anyway that's just a tiny bit. I hope you were able to the the picture of that or are inspired to create you own time with Jesus I can't not see any of what I described but I feel the excitement of the words as the play out. I'm m thinking that might be my longest post yet.
Also I have started to seek God for visions, pictures I have had some pictures they are like a blink of an eye and gone I've not been able to hold them there in my mind. They don't happen very often so Bill was saying is there something in God you want then passionately go after it. For years I have longed to see and Angel just to lay eyes on one and admire God's handy work but this has alluded me but I will start seeking it and see where it takes me. God has blessed me with word pictures saying all the things that pop into my head. Last night was amazing time with God talking and thinking of my friends mum who had just died that day. Will not seeing it as it unfolded but knowing every word and emotion as they welcomed her home. I want share anymore than that cos it's for my friend. But knowing I'm blessed to imagine things how they would seen. Listen to this. I'm meeting Jesus in this beautiful field there is a stream and the water sound it music to a song I love to pray in tongues to and sing. I see Him standing there watching me a smile on his lips and laughter as I dance and around singing the song "show me your glory". He claps His hands it's like thunder all of a sudden all these amazing butterflies start flying around me. I have do much joy and love in that moment standing there with my Saviour. Anyway that's just a tiny bit. I hope you were able to the the picture of that or are inspired to create you own time with Jesus I can't not see any of what I described but I feel the excitement of the words as the play out. I'm m thinking that might be my longest post yet.
By De O'Neil
Tagged: Revelation, repentance, joy, love, imagination, words, butterflies
What is really important to us.
I know its been awhile since I blogged.... We have had such a lot going on in our lives at present. We have had Mark's mum staying with us and a health scare with Mark, blood test and a xray to see if there is thing wrong also a breath test to see what damage is done to his lungs from all the years smoking. Coughing up blood and lack of breath and if he might have the C however that word will not be spoken over my husband so please don't say the word. Mark is trying to give up smoking and struggling to do so but praise God he has been able to cut down so that is progress and moving in the right direction. So with all that going it can really put things into focus. I did the normal freak out and got those close to me to pray. What I didn't do much was pray myself, I don't want to make excuses for myself. But I am aware that after all this time I still don't run to God when things get bad. This is an area I need to work from. So as I sit here in feeling yuck with thee a virus or whatever I have got that I need to do more in spending time with my heavenly Father and less on other things like face book and watching things on line. I watched the War Room today and I was struck that I don't spend eough time in prayer and seeking God.'ve not really prayed for my husband, I could be declaring from from smoking and addictions over my husband. Is it possible to declare freedom and deliverance for someone else? I am going to seek some guidance on that and get back to you on this. One person I did ask said no that Mark needs to seek that for himself. Pappa Daddy I need your help and your widom in the best way I can to help Mark break free from addictin of smokes and to walk in freedom in you. Please show me the way to go I ask in Jesus name Amen.
If you have not had a chance to see the War Room I give it the thumbs up. To many people are allowing the enemy to steal, kill and distory its time to take back what is ours by right and fight for our families, friends and for those who have not meet Jesus yet. Not the Jesus they think they may know, but the Jesus I know and love the one who set me free and delived me from smoking. The Jesus that always loves us even if we feel we don't deserve it He is alway there, always loving us alawy interceding on our behalf. I want to be more like you Jesus and less like me.
If you have not had a chance to see the War Room I give it the thumbs up. To many people are allowing the enemy to steal, kill and distory its time to take back what is ours by right and fight for our families, friends and for those who have not meet Jesus yet. Not the Jesus they think they may know, but the Jesus I know and love the one who set me free and delived me from smoking. The Jesus that always loves us even if we feel we don't deserve it He is alway there, always loving us alawy interceding on our behalf. I want to be more like you Jesus and less like me.
Breaking Chains
Yesterday I meet a friend for coffee and we has a lovely time talking and catching up.During our time together we spoke things that hold us back from during a job that needs to be done. While she chatted I clicked my fingers and said "its broken" what is broken she asked the issue is said with a slight laugh. I explained that I have all these hammers that God has given me they are all different sizes. I said I have these hammers and all I need from God to break a stronghold. She said when we are out of here can you pray for me? I said sure, so in front of my car on Cambridge street in Richmond I placed my hand upon her head and started praying I was sensing movement around me and blocked that rise of embassement that tried to stop me. I spoke to the issue and delcared that isue broken and that fear wouldn't hold her back from and spoke Shalom peace over my dearest friend. She was blessed and said that there had been a shift praise God.
So what I want to say is take the risk and pray for that thing that God puts in your heart. If someone asked you to pray and you feel I'm not sure I am equiped to do that will then ask God to give you the tools and he will give you what you need Luke 11:10-13
So what I want to say is take the risk and pray for that thing that God puts in your heart. If someone asked you to pray and you feel I'm not sure I am equiped to do that will then ask God to give you the tools and he will give you what you need Luke 11:10-13